Stop Marching Harder-Start Leading Smarter: Ep73

In this episode of No Limits Leadership, Sean Patton sits down with Tony Martignetti—bestselling author, leadership advisor, and founder of Inspired Purpose Coaching. With a unique background in biotech, finance, and executive coaching, Tony has helped high-performing leaders redefine success by reconnecting with their deeper purpose.

Together, Sean and Tony dive into the dangers of burnout, how to recognize the early signs of misalignment, and why leaders must make space to think, not just do. They explore how energy—not busyness—is a better compass for growth, and how courage, reflection, and honest conversations are the keys to building a meaningful legacy.

You’ll learn:

• What the “Weekly Spark” is and how it can shift your entire trajectory
• How to lead holistically by seeing your team as full human beings
• Why vulnerability is a superpower—and how it unlocks connection and performance
• What it takes to help high-performing, often neurodiverse technical leaders transition into visionary leadership roles
• How to stop tolerating mediocrity and start building a culture of ownership

Whether you’re climbing the wrong mountain or just need a better view of the summit, this conversation will inspire you to realign, refocus, and rise.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Leadership and Purpose
01:46 Navigating Career Transitions
06:05 Identifying Purpose and Avoiding Burnout
09:59 The Role of Energy in Purpose
13:57 Defining and Aligning Purpose
18:05 Fostering Connection in Leadership
21:58 Leading with Vulnerability and Openness
24:13 Leading vs. Managing: The Key Differences
26:10 Understanding Outlier Leaders
28:01 Navigating Career Transitions
30:18 Adapting Roles to Individual Strengths
33:03 Balancing Professional Success and Personal Fulfillment
36:28 Cultivating Courage in Leadership
41:31 Creating a Legacy of Courage and Confrontation

Transcript

Sean Patton (00:15)
Welcome to the No Limits Leadership Podcast. I am your host Sean Patton. I'm so excited to have Tony Marnetti today. He's a trusted leadership advisor, bestselling author, the founder of Inspired Purpose Coaching. He's got just a really remarkable and really cool background in finance, bio-tech and executive coaching. He helps high performing leaders navigate their paths with clarity, courage and confidence. He's known for his transformational approach.

He guides individuals to align their inner purpose with their outward impact and helping them find fulfillment while driving results, which is right in line with what I love talking about and working with my leaders in No Limits Leadership. So I'm excited for this conversation. He's also the author of Climbing the Right Mountain, Navigating the Journey to an Inspired Life and a Passionate Advocate for Unlocking the Potential Within Leaders. So today he's going to join in his wisdom and share his purposeful vision about leadership and navigating the complexities of modern business with authenticity and vision.

Tony, thanks for being here.

Tony Martignetti (01:11)
Thank you so much for having me, Sean. This is a wonderful introduction. Thank you so much for introducing me in such a great way.

Sean Patton (01:18)
Well, I had to, you we had our initial conversation and I said, I was really impressed by it. And the more I looked into your, your content and the message you're putting out and the impact you're having, we had to, match up to what you're doing. one thing I was interested in when we talked was your professional journey has not been sort of standard and linear, right? Like finance, biotech, leadership coaching, like all those different things. What, what.

was pivotal in those experiences that led you to start Inspired Purpose Coaching.

Tony Martignetti (01:46)
Yeah, it's a great question. one of the things that was pivotal about it, pivotal about it, if I can get my words out, was that I realized there were missing pieces, but I was doing good work. And when you have something good going on, it's hard to realize something's missing. You just kind of continue to do the work and you fall into a pattern. And so the reality is that

You know, when I was working in, in biotech, I was making an impact. was doing great work and people were, you know, celebrating that work in many ways. And so you just go along, you fall in the pattern. and then moments along the way, realized, something's missing and. know, but I'll just keep going. And maybe that thing I'm seeking will, will find me or I'll find it eventually when I get to that place, that mystical place.

I don't wherever it is, but it doesn't come. You have to actually, you know, stop yourself and, you know, realize, yeah, if I want to find that thing that's missing, I need to maybe go seek it. And that's what I did. I had to, you know, get off of the treadmill of my corporate life and explore deeper into what it is that I really wanted. And so I left the corporate world and decided to get into,

coaching and eventually more leadership advisory and facilitation work. And it was the best decision I could have made. And it allowed me to really connect with my true purpose, but it also had me coming back to a part of me that was there all along. you know, I was an artist as a child and a person who loved to create environments and worlds that, you know, had people feel something and ultimately

That's what I feel like I've come back to is these elements of myself that I held back. so yeah, that's it.

Sean Patton (03:41)
When walking through that, when you said, I knew that I wasn't living my purpose, that I wasn't feeling that, and I had to take a step back and figure out what that is, like realign with my purpose. Did you already know what that was? And it was just a matter of realignment? Or did you have to just kind of start with a blank slate and say, I know this isn't yet, but I'm not sure what it is.

Tony Martignetti (04:01)
Yeah, it's more the latter. mean, it's really, you know, I didn't know what it was, but I knew that what I was doing wasn't serving that purpose. And it manifested in many ways. First of all, it showed up in burnout. I was working so hard trying to be something that I really, it wasn't me. And I thought working harder was a solution. And it wasn't. So burnout became like the first warning sign that I was on the wrong path.

And then, you know, getting out and starting to explore was, you know, deciding that through conversation and through talking with others, I would find different, paths that could unearth who I was, my purpose. And then even that, took some time because even when I decided that coaching was maybe a path for me, you know, it's more getting clear about who and the what.

You know what, what is the actual modality of how I'm going to move people? And so there was a lot of still steps I had to take. And to be honest with you, the purpose continues to evolve in many different ways and, and, and it, shifts and takes different forms.

Sean Patton (05:12)
Yeah, I love how you brought up as I've, I've had this happen to me before too. I, uh, you know, my, I jumped in with both feet into entrepreneurship right out of the military and started my first company. And when things, when I was struggling, you know, financially, I made some early financial decisions that put us in a hole and I got over leveraged and also just didn't know any better, you know, didn't know that I, that I shouldn't.

jump right in and sign a seven year lease inside my house away and didn't know that I maybe shouldn't go get a half a million dollar loan from the SBA and things could go wrong. And when things weren't going the way I wanted or financially were struggling, the answer in the military, I think for a lot of, I think this resonates with a lot of, if you want to use the term A-type or high achiever or driven people, right? Success-focused people. The answer to the military definitely was when it gets harder, just...

Tony Martignetti (05:57)
Yeah.

Sean Patton (06:05)
March harder, right? I keep going. just, you know, eventually the mission is going to end. Eventually you're going to redeploy eventually whatever's going to happen. And the one thing you can't do is quit or stop. Right? Cause that literally, you know, it's training. means you don't, fail in, you just end in combat. means, you know, people count on you it can mean death. Right? So, but I took that same mentality and I feel like mentally what you described to me was like a similar mentality.

but driven by our own sort of ego and standards of like, need to succeed, I need to have drive. And so just keep pushing, just keep pushing, just keep pushing until the mind and body eventually for me gave out, right? And I had burnout and physical symptoms. And I think that that's just a message that resonates with people that are probably listening. And you mentioned that burnout was sort of like the one of your first, the indicator.

Tony Martignetti (06:46)
See you.

Sean Patton (07:00)
But I heard before that was, you mentioned, what's my leading indicator of, right? there's, know, what's my leading indicator that what I'm doing, I was living my purpose. And I guess I would ask you that. like, what are the, cause I have my own ideas, but I want to hear what your thoughts first. Like what is the leading indicator before we get to burnout, before someone knows am I headed on the right track or not?

Tony Martignetti (07:25)
Yeah, well, I love you asked this question because it actually comes back to something that really connects with why I called my company inspired purpose. You know, there's a sense of like, you know that you've lost connection with your purpose. If like all you're doing is going through the motions. There is a sense of like, look into the time, you know, your weeks ahead and you start to see that, you know, you're just not looking forward to the things you're doing.

And we have to sometimes pause and say, you know, what am I looking forward to next week? What am I, what am I doing that's sparking me up or gives me some sense of aliveness about the work? And if you don't have that, then that's a sign that you're missing your purpose or you're missing your sense of connection to the work. Now, does that mean you throw everything away and start something new? No, it just means that you may have to take a different look at how you're navigating the work.

maybe you need to take a different approach to the work. This moment, which I think we all need to take some moments away from the day to day and just kind of reassess. I think in the book, my first book, Climbing the Right Mountain, this idea of climbing this mountain that we've set for ourselves, we have to think about what is our definition of where we're going so that we can figure out

Is it worth still climbing this mountain? You know, are we on the right path, on the right mountain at all? So I think that's what I'm connecting to here.

Sean Patton (08:58)
I love that answer because what I'm hearing from you is energy, right? Like if you're doing something and it gives you, if it gives you energy from doing the work, maybe we're headed, maybe the compass is headed up the right direction. Maybe that's the right, we're headed toward the right mountain, right? And if the work we're doing is draining us, then maybe that's the indicator, that's what I'm hearing from you is like it's an energy draw, right?

Is this giving me life or is this sucking it away from me?

Tony Martignetti (09:27)
Yeah, and I don't want to confuse this with that it's easy. mean, you know, as the old saying is growth is not easy. There should be some sense of struggle, maybe some tension along the way. And so if you find that like, it's, you know, I'm finding it hard to navigate this path. That's not necessarily saying that you're in the wrong path. It just means that, you know, these moments can be challenging and therefore it could be a sign that you're just

in a spot where you need to push on, which is fine. But if you dread it, that's the difference. know, growth that you enjoy in the process, even though it's hard, is okay. But growth where you're dreading it and you're like, well, I just can't wait to be done with this because I just, you know, I'll be happy when I get done with it. That's not good.

And I'm going to connect us to this idea of like, of dopamine, right? Dopamine was always seen as this thing that we feel better. The dopamine hits come at the end of something. But in reality, we get dopamine hits in the process of anticipating something. It's a very different, we, a different approach to what we thought it was, at least from, you know, scientifically what we thought dopamine was all about. We don't get satisfaction at the end. We get satisfaction on the journey.

Sean Patton (10:47)
Yeah, the anticipation of it and success. And, you know, I love the fact you said growth isn't easy because, I think back to my own life and when I work with clients and every, every accomplishment, every experience, everything I've done in my life that I'm, that's lasting, like that's, have, I have pride in that I helped define myself that I'm, I want to, I want to tell people about has been hard.

Tony Martignetti (11:08)
Yeah.

Sean Patton (11:12)
Right?

It's been difficult. It's like that's part of, it's part of the journey and almost a necessary part of a part of growth. But I love how you're differentiating the fact between, you know, but am I suffering just to suffer and is sort of the juice going to be worth the squeeze at the end? Am I going be proud of, of where I'm at? Or am I just going to be done and be like, well, thank God that's over. And I never talk or think about it or it means nothing to me or I didn't, I didn't grow as a person from it. Then, then it's kind of that question of like, what am I doing here? Right?

Tony Martignetti (11:37)
now.

Exactly. Exactly. I just love that, you know, you know, coming from you, it really speaks volumes, right? You know, you've been through, you know, basic training and things like that. It's like in just being able to speak to the struggle that that happens. And you wouldn't trade it for the world. You know, those are the things that are really meaningful. One of the things that I've done, which I think is, you know, really challenging, I climbed Kilimanjaro, which was a wild climb, 19,000 feet and, know,

Would I do it again? I don't know, but it was really worth it. I mean, I'm so glad I did it, but it tested my will for sure. And it tested my abilities to do a climb like that, not just physically, but also mentally.

Sean Patton (12:26)
Yeah, same way I get asked all the time, like Army Ranger school or, you know, special forces selection. It's like, would I do it again? Hell no. But, yeah, but, but, but because I've already, but only because I've already done it, right? Like if you had never climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and someone said, let's go time and kill my jar, it's going to suck. And he's going to suffer. You're like, well, I have to, I want to do it. I want this and it's important. But like, but once you do it, you're like, what do you want to do it again? Like, ah, well, that's a different story. I already know I can do it. And I already have that, you know, that sense of pride.

Tony Martignetti (12:31)
Yeah.

Yes.

Sean Patton (12:52)
And, the growth that comes from that. And so I think that's really important. So as you help people discover or redefine their, their purpose or leaders that are trying to do that, you know, maybe there's some Mount Kilimanjaro's that they need to climb to get there. Like, how do you, how do you help them define what that, what that is and what is the right direction to go to define that purpose?

Tony Martignetti (13:07)
Yeah.

Yeah, it really comes down to having them redefine what it is that's important to them and think differently about it from what they had in the past. Because sometimes we've gotten on this path because other people have pushed us in that direction. I always use the classic example of a lot of Asian parents who have said, here's your choices of career paths you can take.

And you know, you can be a lawyer, you can be a doctor, you know, so on and so forth. And, the reality is maybe that person is like, no, I don't have any affinity to any of those things. And, you know, I've probably been really successful doing that. But at the end of the day, what really lights me up is this, you know, maybe I want to be an artist, you know, and that's okay. And it's okay to say that. Now, does that mean they throw away everything and start being an artist? No, but it means leaning into that.

and finding ways to incorporate parts of that into your world. And so I let people dream a little bit and allow them to say, what can I do that really connects with what I value? And how can I incorporate that into my world? And it comes back to this thing that I often talk about, which is a tool called Expand Your Vision, Narrow Your Focus. Expanding your vision is about really seeing new possibilities in what you're doing.

And that might mean incorporating into the work something that you haven't thought about incorporating or trying new paths and identifying that thing. But don't stay too far out because you have to identify then apply. And that's where the narrowing focus comes in, which is about taking that one thread and following it for a period. Even if it's not the definitive path, it allows you to say, I'm going to see what happens when I follow that.

Sean Patton (15:01)
I mean, would you say that when people are able to align the way that they're living, including personal, professional life, with that purpose, defined purpose, with that vision, they're more productive and more effective in the work they're doing?

Tony Martignetti (15:17)
Yes, but it's not an overnight thing. It's you know, what what happens is when people start to explore different paths, they start to, to realize they can do amazing things, when they're able to focus deeper into something that is maybe an area they didn't they didn't know that they had a capacity for. And but what they realize is that capacity they build in one area has the has a follow on effect in other areas.

And then they become expansive overall. It's almost like when you build capacity in, I'll use the analogy of a basketball player. You know, if you're a basketball player who wants to get good at one thing, you're going to practice like your three throws, your, your, know, free throws for, you know, endlessly until you get really good at it. But what you realize after a period of time, so when you go back to playing all of the, all of your skills, your skills are all advanced because

You know, you're playing into one thing actually helps other things become better. Makes sense.

Sean Patton (16:18)
Yeah, yeah. So I'm wondering how we leverage this concept as, as leaders, like we're talking in terms of for ourselves, but obviously if we want our teams and you know, the people that, that we're developing to reach their full potential, we want to make, we want to help them, get aligned as well, right? Aligned to their strengths, to their purpose so that we can have the highest performing team possible. So where do leaders,

begin when they start working with their subordinates on helping them follow the same path. they get the highest amount of engagement and retention and everything else?

Tony Martignetti (16:56)
Yeah, it's a lot easier than people think. One of the first things they can do is, is listen to them. Connection is the most important part of building a more engaged and, you know, and productive team. I don't really like productive because I think it's, it's a, I don't know, it's not really the goal. The goal is really to make sure that the team is working more effectively together. But the idea is that you want to get to know people and get to know what it is that lights them up.

What are their strengths? What are the things that they want to leverage? Now that doesn't mean it's like, if you're just looking at the title and saying, because you are an accountant, you have to be a better accountant. It's also asking them, what are the things beyond the technical aspects of the job that you do well and that you like to do well? And how can we help you to harness that strength, that element of who you are?

in this capacity, in this world of what we're doing. That could involve things that are outside of their jobs. And by allowing them to really harness that bigger part of who they are, they're more committed to the work. And ultimately you get the advantage of somebody who's fully firing on all cylinders.

Sean Patton (18:09)
Do you have a story or example of maybe a client that you've worked with in the past and their journey of putting this into action and kind of what the result was so we could hear sort of what this looks like in IRL as the kids say?

Tony Martignetti (18:26)
Yeah, totally. mean, I think one of the things that I'll use the example of someone who I worked with, who was a data scientist, she was just really brilliant as a data scientist. But the thing is that she had aspects of who she is outside of work that wasn't being expressed. And I got to know her through our conversations. And I realized that she has a

real talent as a violinist, right? Now seems really odd, right? But she played violin on in a youth orchestra. And she started to get really good. And she was in an orchestra that was for adults, young adults. And I was like, wow, that's amazing. Does anyone at work know you do that? And she said, No, I wouldn't share that. Like, okay, well, what if you did? What if you shared aspects of who you are into the workplace? And she started to do that.

And what I realized when she did this is that it opened the door to not only her unlocking her confidence, but other people seeing her more fully and allowing them to, to bring her in for, you know, being able to, to have more conversations about her creative side. And they championed her. And then they asked, you know, people started to share their talents and the things that they do outside of work.

And so I'm using this example because I think it's an interesting way to see it beyond technical skills. It's also a way for people to feel connected and then ultimately championing who they are as a whole person.

Sean Patton (20:00)
Yeah. And I, what I love on there is she was leading with her own vulnerability and not, not just down, right? think leadership or you manage her just like leading to the people below you, but leading within the organization, right? Leading, leading as defined as influence. and so, you know, leading in all directions up sideways down. so we're doing that. She gave permission. It sounds like she gave permission to others do the same and fostered more and higher connection.

Tony Martignetti (20:05)
Yeah.

Exactly.

Sean Patton (20:28)
at that human level.

Tony Martignetti (20:29)
A hundred percent. And that's exactly what I think is so beautiful about that story. It's just, you know, this opportunity to almost create a ripple of, of openness in the organization. And like I said, this confidence that it, created for her to see, if I'm doing this here, what else am I holding back on? You know, what are some things that I could be doing speaking up in meetings that she normally might've like, you know, shied away from, it just gave her a license permission.

to just see what else is possible.

Sean Patton (20:59)
And I think as leaders, can, we can lead by sharing our own vulnerabilities. then maybe I'll, I mean, I'll issue a challenge, right? As coaches, we like to challenge people. So I show a challenge to listeners too. Um, which is what do you know? How well do you know your people in a holistic sense? Right? Like she mentioned, no one at work knew that she had this passion for violence. Do you know, uh, you know, do you know your, the people you work, do you know their

Tony Martignetti (21:05)
Yeah.

Sean Patton (21:23)
their families, you know, how their kids are up to. Do you know what they do on their spare time? Do know what matters to them? Like, do you really know? Could you write a page about each person you work directly with, about them as a holistic person outside of their job function? And, you know, I'm almost thinking in my head right now, is that a good indicator? I'll ask you, is that maybe a good indicator, a good exercise for a leader to be like, are you

are you leading or just managing? Because if you're just managing their role, you know what they do with their work role and you mentioned productivity. But if you don't know all the aspects of them, then are you really leading?

Tony Martignetti (22:01)
Yeah, I love that you share this. And there's an element of this which would say, okay, well, you don't have to be everyone's best friend. But it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's more about creating a sense, a container of trust, and connection that allows you to just have an understanding of each other. And I think that's what we're after. We're not looking to be best friends. We're not looking to pry into people's worlds that, you know, there's people can still have boundaries and all that. But the key thing is

to open the door enough to be able to say, I want to know you, I want to get to know you enough so that we can be more than just, you know, people who work together in a place and exactly take it from transactional to more of a transformational relationship, which is ultimately going to get more results in the long run, because we can help that person, the employee get what they want from this, which is far beyond just a job.

Sean Patton (22:39)
Yeah, not just transactional relationship,

Tony Martignetti (22:57)
Maybe it's about how do I advance my career and see what I'm capable of, my potential, and you're gonna get so much more out of them because you're investing in them. And so yeah, coming back to your analogy, I think it's absolutely spot on. It's not managing, it's leading. And leaders see how they can get people to go from where you started to where we're gonna be taking you.

Sean Patton (23:23)
And I know you mentioned before that trying to discover who you want to work with. And I'm breaking the fourth wall here a bit because we had a conversation before this and you had mentioned you like working with outlier leaders. Yeah. What does that mean? What's who's an outlier leader?

Tony Martignetti (23:36)
Yes.

Yeah, outlier leaders are people who usually come from a technical background, but I, they're almost, they're three dimensional people, which means that they, they have a lot of things that they don't share. mean, it's just like I was talking about there. They're usually closed off to others. They don't connect well with others because they're oftentimes, you know, thinking that other people don't relate well with them. So I have, I helped them to bridge the connection.

to other people and realize that by working with others, their dreams, their passions for what they do, their technical aspects of who they are can become a reality. And they won't burn themselves out by staying so close in their own little world. And they'll actually see that, you know, by leveraging other people, they'll make things reality. So, you know, just using the example of,

technical like a scientist, you know, I work with a lot of chief science officers who are brilliant and oftentimes if they're not able to connect with others, people will work around them or they'll find ways to just, you know, find, we'll get we'll we'll bring them in when we need them kind of thing. And that's not healthy. And so when I get them to see that their vision, when communicated well and in in concert with other people,

they're able to enable and empower other people to be part of that vision.

Sean Patton (25:07)
That makes so much sense. And, know, to overgeneralize, you know, we, think about, uh, well, we set the stage. We think about the business concept, right? Of like the Peter principle, right? Everyone's, everyone's promoted to their level of incompetence, right? So which we can happen a lot when it's like, Oh, you're the best, you know, the best sales person is now the sales manager, even though those are two different skillsets, right? The best, uh, you're a good sales manager. might now you must be a good director or a VP and, and no one ever trained you or analyze like

Tony Martignetti (25:20)
You

Sean Patton (25:34)
analyzed whether your skill set or your desire was for what was required at that next level, right? Because being a chief science officer and being a individual contributor engineer, those are completely different skill sets and roles. And I would imagine with the type of people you're talking about, you know, it's almost a more difficult transition, right? Like if you're a salesperson or you're, you know, in HR or you're in marketing, generally speaking, those sort of, when you start having to lead other people because you're,

as an individual contributor, you're already dealing sort of with other people. You might be able to make that transition earlier, but if you're an accountant or an engineer or a data scientist and your individual contributor strength is numbers and you have that engineering type brain, and now all of sudden it's like, well, you're the top engineer. Now you're going to be the director of engineers. It's like, well, that's almost a bigger jump for those people, I would imagine.

Tony Martignetti (26:12)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like, you know, completely, you know, taking a square peg and put them around hole and now, you know, people companies mean well, but now they need to make sure that they, they help to skill that hurt, you know, upskill that person and train that person to see now we're crying something different from you. And there's a lot of these people come kicking and screaming into those roles.

Also, I will point out that a lot of them are neurodiverse. They've fallen into these paths because of the fact that they are really good at being in their own world. I'm not trying to paint a picture of this is how everyone who's neurodiverse is, but there's an element of they're good at details and getting into the minutiae, and that's wonderful. But the problem is the social skills might be lacking.

And that's where we need to help them to do it in their own way, navigate in their own path. And that's where I come in and help them.

Sean Patton (27:26)
I think that's, that's an important, because you can't, especially in a lot of corporate environments and larger companies, right? We create this job description or this one role. And it's like, you're trying to find this person that's going to perfectly fit, know, you're trying to find that, you know, that's where that square person to put in the square hole, but, the best person for that, for that role inside the company may be, you know, the circle person and we need to adjust.

adjust the role around them. that takes to your point to, you know, kind of circle back that takes leaders at the top that have a little bit of a bigger vision, right? That can see the bigger picture and be flexible and creative in terms of, maximizing, the, the abilities that they are, that they have on their teams to get the outcome they're looking for, not look for cookie cutter, you know, approaches to.

personnel and individuals, because as human beings, I mean, you're missing out, right? I, I, you're at a competitive disadvantage. I think if you're not, if you're not considering the people and strengths on your team and how they could best fit and adjusting accordingly, right? It's like, think that you mentioned the basketball, right? The best coaches in basketball, the best coach, I watch more football, but I get it. You're in Boston. So we'll talk Celtics. you know, I just watched, I just watched a little documentary on, starting five with Jason Tatum. So I'm, I'm on board now. He's the man.

Tony Martignetti (28:27)
Yeah.

Sean Patton (28:49)
But the best coaches aren't the coaches who come in and say, here's my system and we're gonna run my system. Like it's just my system, get on board with my system. They look at every year, they look at who do I have on my team? What are their individual strengths? And then they adjust strategy and tactics based on the talent that they have. And those are the coaches and those are the teams that really succeed.

Tony Martignetti (29:01)
Yeah.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. That's exactly I mean, we can't use the same place over and over again and expect that, you know, they're going to work for the different players that are coming through the roster. We need to be thinking who do we have there, which really speaks to what I was saying earlier, get to know the people on your team. And, and know that, okay, what are the strengths that they have? How do they utilize them? How can I utilize them? And, you know, and it's not about, you know, you use them as a resource, but it's like,

you know, knowing that you want to maximize their experience and you want to make sure that they meet with what you're trying to accomplish. So, I used to use this analogy of like, here's your people and here's your, you know, here's your goal and you want to make sure that you're fitting them together so that they are optimized.

Sean Patton (29:57)
What are, as I shift a bit, these leaders that want to really balance.

professional success and personal fulfillment. feel like we are in modern world just, you know, we're expected to shove 10 pounds of crap in a five pound bag every day, right? With all the different requirements on us and, and, and, and everyone's expected to do more with less and things are just moving faster and faster and faster. And, and, and we're, we're, are sort of like,

I feel like the leaders I talk with, especially at the senior level, a lot of times maybe they rose to the top because they did sacrifice that personal fulfillment or personal relationships. And so that was their road to success. then maybe they got to, maybe to your point, the top of the mountain and realized it was really lonely. And so what do they do now? How do they recalibrate?

Tony Martignetti (30:47)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, in the word you use, recalibrate is a is an important one, because it is about changing the way you're thinking about where you are and saying, Okay, if I want this role, that's okay to to to strive for big things and to do big things. But how can you do it differently? And that might mean recalibrating your expectations about what it is that you know, how are going to do that role?

What I mean by that is this, is that, you know, what is it that you're valuing? What are the things that you're in, that are important to you? If you're starting to say to yourself like, look, I know that family is important to me and I want to make sure that I'm making space for that. That might mean that you're gonna say no to some things that are on your plate and you're going to delegate more, empower other people to do things that you in the past might've said, I'm the only one who can do that.

And you get a question that and say, no, I'm not the only one who can do that. Or I have to settle for, you know, less than perfect on certain things that I in the past have said only the absolute best in this particular area. no, you got to something has to give and you have to decide what is going to give. So it starts to really come from this place of what is essentially important. And that includes across your entire life.

and how am I going to create strategies and plans to ensure that I can get all of the things working in concert. That's how you start to create a path to designing really a better, more fulfilling life is by making choices, hard choices, but choices that will allow you to have that life that you're

Sean Patton (32:35)
think that's a big, important, a big and scary thing to sort of reassess, right? And you talk a lot in your content, your coaching about courage, the importance of courage when it comes to leadership. So how can leaders cultivate this courage when they're trying to navigate uncertainty and these tough decisions?

Tony Martignetti (32:41)
filter

Yeah, I mean, the starting point of like of cultivating this courage is to is to first of all, lean into, you know, you can't do it while you're you can't make these choices while you're in the trenches while you're doing the work. You have to take a step back and say, how do I get some perspective? How do I get some a little bit of space to do this? And, know, one of the best ways that I've I've seen to do this is to at least have

an hour a week, where you spend time looking at things from a different angle. I call it the weekly spark. And you what I do is I look back to the week before, and I look forward to the week ahead. And, and through that, I'm also thinking about what is what are the big goals that I'm trying to accomplish across my entire life, not just, you know, in my work. And what that allows me to do is to think about well, what

what happened last week, what worked well, what didn't work well, what is some things that I need to celebrate because they were the fuel that I want to take into the next week. And then as I'm looking into the next week, I want to make sure that I'm planning more intentionally, not just kind of arriving and just showing up for. So the reason why I share this is because this is the way that you start to change the path you're on, change the patterns, is by creating space.

for reflection, for thinking. We need to think more, not just do more.

Sean Patton (34:27)
And I believe that that's one of the transitions as leaders maybe move up in responsibility in an organization. I literally wrote down my notes as you were saying that. As you move up in an organization, you actually need to spend and should be spending less time doing and more time thinking. And that takes some awareness, right? Because you got, again, you...

Tony Martignetti (34:46)
Yes.

Sean Patton (34:52)
I keep thinking of the phrase and he didn't coin this because a book called it, right? Like we got you here, we'll get you there. Marshall Goldsmith's book, right? It's on my shelf over here. And it's that thing of, I was successful as a salesperson, an accountant, because I got crap done, you know, right? And then the next level as a manager is like, well, I helped my people get crap done. And then you move up and up and up. And I think what people forget is that when you move up into the higher levels of an organization,

You, as you, you have to make time, as you mentioned, to do that deep thinking. And what that allows people to do is the people below you in the lower part of the organization to focus on doing, because they know that you've got the thinking part that you're thinking about strategy that you're thinking about what's coming next that you're anticipating what's coming up. And, uh, but I love that. Um, would you call it the spark hour? What'd you call it? Weekly spark some time to reflect and plan just for yourself. And I would say.

Tony Martignetti (35:42)
Weekly Spark, yeah, Weekly Spark. Yeah.

Sean Patton (35:49)
you know, I think for so many of us, I'm like, I'm counseling myself right now. I worked with, I really had a, uh, I worked with a conscious leadership coach and I'm at any gram three. And so right now I just had a baby a week ago and I told her how I'm stressing cause I'm sitting in the couch and I'm not getting things done. I'm not doing, you know, and she's like, the work for you is to sit and do nothing and just, just think. And, uh, and that's, it's like,

Tony Martignetti (36:13)
Yes.

Sean Patton (36:17)
man, I would rather almost go back to special forces selection, but sit on the couch and do nothing. Cause it's so, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me, to do that, but giving yourself the space to stop and think and reflect. I love that. That's, that's park hour that you brought up. Cause it's, it's, it's for some people that are just go, go, go. And there's, know, there's never enough time and the email inbox is never empty. And it's just,

Tony Martignetti (36:23)
Yes.

Sean Patton (36:44)
It's so hard to do that, but I love how you tied that to, to courage, having the courage and the ability to make tough decisions is making yourself have the space to do it.

Tony Martignetti (36:45)
Yeah.

percent.

Yeah, I mean, it's it's a it's so hard to tap into this. And I'll say even I have a hard time with it, too. mean, I, you know, I might have said this to you before, but I was addicted to doing and I wasn't able to be sometimes when I was back in my old path and being addicted to doing means that I couldn't I couldn't relax unless I had all of my things done. Now, that's challenging. And so I had to.

Sean Patton (37:20)
the things are never

done, right?

Tony Martignetti (37:21)
Yeah, these things are never done, right?

And so it took a lot of reprogramming and a lot of, you know, resetting a lot of courage. And so now, you know, my mantra is to think more, do less. And it's challenge that I have to face every day.

Sean Patton (37:39)
Well, the what if there's one piece of advice you could give leaders about creating a legacy they're proud of, what would it be?

Tony Martignetti (37:48)
Yeah.

Yeah, this is gonna be very confrontational. Look around and look at the things that you're doing and say, what am I tolerating that I shouldn't? You what are some things that you're tolerating that maybe you shouldn't be putting up with? And that could be also the things that you're doing that you shouldn't be doing. And what I mean by that, and you know, here's a classic example. You know, when you start to see

people phoning it in at work, you realize that there's a lot of people in the team who are just squabbling and having challenges. Don't tolerate that. I don't mean be maniacal about it, but just confront it. Because as you put, as you tolerate a lot of bad behavior on your team, what happens is people start to realize that that's okay. So.

You confront it by having conversations, talk to people, realize what's going on here, what's really happening, what's behind all of this challenge. And that leads me to one other thing I'll share as a bonus, is this idea of like, what's an honest conversation that you need to have that you should be having? And that might mean it's an honest conversation with yourself about things that you need to confront about what's going on.

Sean Patton (39:04)
man, that brings me back to courage, right? I mean, that's the, gotta have the courage to do those things, but I think we need to have the courage to, you know, look at ourselves in the mirror and the courage to take action and the courage to be still. And, and it just keeps coming back to that and the commitment to.

Tony Martignetti (39:07)
Yeah.

Sean Patton (39:23)
It sounds to me, if I had to wrap that as like having the courage to do those things is the path to creating fulfillment and creating that purpose-filled life.

Tony Martignetti (39:31)
100%. And you know, when we start to take, and I'll, there's a quote that I'll share, which I just love is that, you know, if you're willing to feel everything, you can have anything. And that quote comes from, Peter Bregman, in his book, leading with emotional courage. One of the best books I think out there. and it was a long time ago it was published. And the reason why it's a wonderful thing is because having the courage.

to embrace all the different emotions that you can experience is important. Sure, you might put yourself into a conversation that is gonna be challenging, but hey, that's what might need to happen for you to have the life that you're looking to have. Difficult conversations are the gateway to growth, all right?

Sean Patton (40:21)
Absolutely. Tony, this has been, this has been awesome. I feel like we could, we could keep going for hours, but, what's, uh, he'll, you know, obviously I think a lot of people are going to love what they're hearing from you. What's the best way for them to connect with you to read and see here more from you.

Tony Martignetti (40:34)
Absolutely, I appreciate that. So the best place to find me is my website, is I-Purpose-Partners.com. And the I is the letter I, not the eye as in eye. And I'm gonna find an easier way to say that. And then the other place is on LinkedIn. Exactly. I'm giving some great optometrist some great, some good business. There we go. So any other place you can find me is on LinkedIn.

Sean Patton (40:49)
Yeah, they're gonna end up at like an optometrist or something. Yeah, yeah

Tony Martignetti (41:03)
So you can go to LinkedIn and you can find me there. I'm pretty active. I'm always sharing different things there.

Sean Patton (41:07)
Yeah, I love the content you're sharing on there, man. That's where I'm at too. And I'll continue to do that and get your newsletter and everything else. But Tony, this has been awesome, man. I appreciate the conversation. I love the work you're doing.

Tony Martignetti (41:17)
Thank you, my friend. really appreciate it. Great conversation, wonderful questions, and thank you for having me on the show.

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